I feel so empty, so lost and so hurt. I feel like nothing will ever fill this hole in my heart. There is just too much pain and suffering, even when there is something good in my life, it hurts too much. What if I had’ve just left him there where I first ever saw him? It wouldn’t hurt to hurt him by hurting myself to hurt the thing inside me. I love everything about him, his laughing eyes, warming smile and kind heart. He showed me what its like to love and be loved. He took care of me, stroked my scars and played with my hair. He kissed me so softly and I had to have more. What if I didn’t? Would it hurt this much to be a ghost of his ex lovers? To slowly be eaten away by everything festering inside of me, is all I can see happening to me now. Leave me alone to die.